It’s that time of year again, the annual contemplation of character flaws and failures that culminates in New Year’s Resolutions.

Now, taking some time for self-reflection and making achievable, concrete plans for improvement is indeed a useful enterprise. But sometimes I wonder about the resolution or two that reappears year after year…how realistic is it to believe that THIS year is the one that I will successfully change an essential part of my nature? Medical science has not yet perfected the art of the personality transplant.

Why is it that some of the things that I am so good at doing in my work with groups, I seem completely incapable of applying when it comes to my own interpersonal relationships? My colleague Lisa Heft gave me the best answer: YOU CAN’T USE YOUR SUPERPOWER ON YOURSELF!

Think about it — all of our comic strip superheroes use their powers in service of others. So it is with our own. You’ve seen it, I know – the doctor with unhealthy lifestyle behaviors, the therapist who can’t keep a relationship, the fantastic chef who feeds her kids Kraft mac & cheese.

So I offer you this resolution for the coming year: Cut yourself some slack.