>”Our mission is to enhance value-added initiatives and engineer interactive metrics so as to maximize holistic, relational opportunities for system-wide transformation. We do this by synergizing one-to-one partnerships and embracing out-of-the-box solutions as we empower communities to creatively leverage mission-critical paradigm shifts.”

I was checking out the competition today, looking at the websites of various facilitators and organizational development consultants and I must confess my eyes glaze over when I read statements like this. I alternate between thinking, “Whoa, I can’t understand a word of this, are they just smarter/more educated/more sophisticated than I am?” and “This emperor has no damn clothes on.”

If you’re trying to help people have better communication, start by being clear about what it is you actually do.

Here’s what I do:

• Have you ever sat through an interminable meeting that felt like a colossal waste of everyone’s time? I can help you plan and facilitate meetings that don’t suck, but actually accomplish something useful.
• Have you ever watched interpersonal conflicts prevent people from getting the work done? I can mediate conflicts and facilitate conversations on controversial subjects so that everyone is heard and no one gets hurt.
• Have you ever put off holding a difficult conversation with an employee, vendor, or colleague who isn’t performing up to expectations? I can coach you and teach you skills to communicate more effectively.

What I won’t do is try to impress you with jargon.

I created the first paragraph using:

• Internet Economy Bullshit Generator
• Business Jargon Generator
• Consultant’s Jargon Generator